divine romance

The fullness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty’s all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied

For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love

A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
In Your presence God I’m completely satisfied

Phil Wickham

the more i seek you. the more i find you

originally written on August 3, 2008

i just have so many emotions and feelings and thoughts racing around my heart and mind, and if i don't share them, i might burst! :/

i am almost at a loss of words. i don't even know where to begin!

over the past year, I've been on an adventure. an adventure that rattled and shook everything i held dear and knew to be true. but i came out of it knowing one thing more surely and wholeheartedly then anything else: God is very, very real, and His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

however, as i unsteadily and tentatively stand up and brush myself off, i am confronted with more obstacles; more opportunities to use what i've learned over the past year. i can handle this right? i mean... i survived so much! the problem was... i still hadn't learned something: i can't do it on my own.

Surrender. something i've attempted and failed to practice and understand since i was twelve years old. i don't know why i've always struggled with it.. but i never quite understood HOW to surrender everything to God. believe me.. i've tried.. but i always used my own methods..

this issue has become a lot bigger.. especially since i have to make some major, life changing decisions by the end of august. but i finally realized something... i was listening to Hillsong United and Take All of Me came on...

I love You
All of my hope is in You
Jesus Christ take my life
Take all of me

and i realized that my whole life i've always been like.. "alright God. tell me what to do. show me where to go! i need answers right now!" but finally.. i was able to simply say "god... just take my life. take all of me."

and can i be honest? i have never felt such peace.. such hope and excitement.. and most of all so much JOY in my whole life. everyday i am excited.. just bursting with excitement for God's plan in my life.. i always knew that God had good plans for me.. but i never realized HOW good! God is so good to me!

i've been spending a lot of time with a friend of mine.. someone who has God at the very center of their life. everything they do, they do for God. God is THE MOST important thing in their life. and as a result of that, they are the most joyful, content person. its inspiring, really. i want to live that way. i want God to be the first priority in my life.

so. surrender. this is something i'm working on. something i have not mastered. but something i am seeing as the most fulfilling thing i have ever experienced.

but its so hard at the same time.
i want to give God a time table so bad. i feel like crying out "god, i'm running out of time!!!" but psalm 32 says that God will lead me on the best pathways for my life. so i just have to trust. to learn to wait. because God won't fail me. he never has.

so surrender is scary.
terrifying, actually.
but its also the closest i've ever been to God. the most joyful i've ever been.

and.. being close to God is actually an amazingly safe place to be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5PVOYjB8U0